accidents & family

I’ve got a call from my brother saying that they had an accident. I was shocked and speechless. All can I think of is how about my parents’ condition. Accidents always brings bad news no; to be precise, accidents is bad news. My brother continues that my parents are fine but the car isn’t. They really fortunate that they’re alive and only scratches. However the trauma still exists.

This accident was due to the other driver fault, but because of their carelessness, it affects others. Well, perhaps this already written by God and I really thankful as they’re fine. Once again, I really appreciate my family are still here with me. I really thankful to God for giving me the chance to live with them such a long time and I really pray to Him that will be with them more years to come.

I want them to see me achieve my dreams. I want them to be there in my wedding day. I want to share with them the feelings when I gave my first birth. I still want them to be with me years to come because I need them and I love them so much. Truth to be told, they’re my strength although sometimes we argue. My parents aren’t like other parents. They’re quite strict and old fashioned. But I know they mean good and I respect that. It’s just sometimes I fell that they just too much controlling my life. However when I think back, they actions are acceptable. I also not truly a good daughter, but I will try my best to be one. I know I always make mistakes, but I will try not to make the same mistake again.

Whenever I arguing with my parents, especially my mum, I always cry and wondering why I always get criticizes. Then, when I’m done crying, I think back of those things I said to her. I always feel bad about it because I actually don’t mean every painful words that I’ve said. I really do love and appreciate her. It’s just sometimes I feel my ego always come over me; which is not good (I should practice to control my ego (~_~)). After that, I always say sorry to her and as a mum, she forgave me. How kind a mother are.

I wonder what kind of mother will I be? I think marry to someone isn’t as easy as ABC. It needs a lot of commitment, patience, tolerance, communication and techniques (I guess so; techniques that are crucial in marriage). Especially when there are children in the family. Taking care a child require a lot of commitment with their usual needs, education, health, love and if taking care more than a child certainly need more than that. Bringing up children is a tough job and I believe this responsibility should not on the wife shoulder alone, but also the husband. Nowadays, there are a lot of challenges that will distract and giving bad influence to the children. Thus, the wife alone can’t bear the whole responsibility as she has a lot of other responsibilities to take care of. Especially for the working wife. I also believe in quality than quantity. It’s better to have less children than having a lot of children based on the family financial and capabilities; which I think important. What’s the use of having a lot of children if we can’t really give them our 100 percent commitment?

When the time comes, I will try my best to be a good mother, a good and understanding wife plus a good daughter (although I’m married).

Well, this is just what I think since I’m still single and available. Yeah…I know I did like someone, but the person only look me as a friend. Thus, let it be. I want to focus more on what I have now. The time will come, eventually. As for now, watashi wa ganbaru yo (^_^).